yesterday i consumed approximately 5 jars' worth of pasta sauce. i cannot vouch for the exactness of my 5-jar approximation because i did not get the sauce out of jars. i made the sauce myself, not 5 jars' worth all at once, but a bit at a time, eating, cooking, eating, cooking, eating, cooking, and then hiding tomatosauce+shamefaced in my bed until sleep overtook me.
that is how i wasted one entire day, and not just any day, but one of the first terrifically amazing beautiful fabulous days of spring. i don't know why that sauce was so addicting, but this is not a story of culinary achievement. this is the story of how one girl sat on her fat ass in her ridiculously messy room all springlorious day eating her way through an entire crop of tomatoes, basil, and a wheel of brie, and i am utterly horrified. i need to forget how to make this sauce or it is going to kill me. i have no pasta left. i have no broccoli, squash, or eggs left. everything in my fridge is gone, used up as carriers for pasta sauce. all i am left with is my deep respect and gratitude for the human body's inability chew up and ingest metal spoons. oh and a tupperware of pasta sauce and broccoli in my office fridge. god help us.
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