My My Metrocard

when i moved to new york after 18 years of dependence on my mother for transportation, i fell in love with the subway system. i was independently mobile and unfettered for the first time in my life. the subway system reminded me of the river ride that runs all around raging rivers waterpark. if you're unfamiliar with raging rivers, the cesspool of hepatitis, i also saw it as the city's circulatory system. if i ever found myself in a strange part of town, lost and confused, i just needed to find that glowing green globe, tap back into the system, and the current would carry me home. even after 6 years of drinking the jade nyc kool-aid, dealing with unreliable service, packed train cars, stations that stank of human feces, the deafening screech of incoming trains, rush hour, the G train, the L train, the F(uck yo mama) train, rats, suffocating underground heat, fare hikes, bedbug infested waiting benches, vomit/condoms/needles/pee on seats, pickpockets, mta strikes, delays due to a sick passenger/an earlier incident/construction, being held in the station momentarily, wrong trains running on wrong lines, trains replaced by shuttle buses...i still am and always will be in love with the new york city subway system.

now i'm in dc, with my yellow metrocard still in my wallet and a voice in my head that repeats, "Thank You For Riding With New York City Transit!" so i walk a lot. but today i took the Circulator to a whole new neighborhood, and as i boarded the bus, i felt something similar to that rush from my first ride on the N train to 8th st/NYU. the metro charges by distance here. buses are only a buck. stations are sterile, graffiti-free concrete tunnels. people use "smartcards." i miss my city and its unmistakably phallic depiction in every train car and station. the dc metro voice will never replace that overeager announcer voice warning me to be careful using electronic devices and to step over the gap. i miss the wall art, the graffiti, i even miss the rats. but i suppose i was long overdue for a new adventure. last week i left new york. today i left logan circle. tomorrow i'll buy a smartcard and let the circulator circulate me all over town. life is short, and it's a magical world. let's go exploring.

think i'll go a little but then i go far!

Sesame Street: Smell Like A Monster

diego get off me.

i am home sick. again. because god got my body out of the bargain bin. so i left work early on thursday and stayed home on friday. went to dr. chen friday afternoon after boyfriend threw my phone at me and threatened to deprive me of food and computer games until i called her. and so i called, expecting she would be unavailable anyway as per usual. apparently the way to get a notoriously busy doctor to squeeze you in for an emergency appointment is to say you are bleeding and cannot stand because being in an upright position causes stabbing pains to shoot through your abdomen. i wasn't especially pleased, but went in anyway. people have asked me before why i am so hesitant to go to the doctor, even when i feel especially unwell. for the most part, i don't consider doctors necessary. maybe it's due to my korean upbringing, which instilled in me the belief that hospitals are actually just a place to go to die. on a less subconscious level, though, i just feel like every time i go to the doctor, i come out with some new thing that's wrong with me. and this time, i may have crohn's disease. which is just fucking great.

so now i'm sitting at home, trying to get caught up on this endless list of things i have to do before i leave my job. i don't really give a shit about the company or max, but i do care about leaving my team hanging. they're good people and i'll miss them. i'm feeling much better now, after 2 days of a soup&water diet. my comfort is elevated by the cuddly animals flanking my sides, although i suppose if i'm not careful they may soon cause that level to drop. my pants stink of dog slobber and rawhide. for some reason, diego finds it absolutely necessary that his bone be pressed against my thigh as he chews. i put a pillow between us, but then he went to town licking it for 5 minutes straight, so i took it away before he swallowed the thing whole, and conceded to letting him paint my thigh with his spit covered bone. oh god, now he's trying to climb onto my sdrsaruioxzZZ