goodbye, blog.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
idiot
i've always been a firm believer in empathy as the key to a better world. now by empathy, i don't mean "niceness," a simplistic assumption that people often make. it's a much more complicated and beautiful thing. via one of my yoga teachers, here is an animated ted talk on "emphatic civilization," which lays it out nicely.
watching the video brought back for me a moment from my NYU days. a few roommates and i were staying in to watch spiderman, not sure which one. at some point in the movie, peter parker decides to hang up his superhero mantle in order to protect his loved ones, and as a demonstration of this decision there comes a scene where parker walks away from a man getting mugged in an alleyway. i thought this was dumb. why a dumb scene in this movie would surprise me, i don't know, but it did.
"why wouldn't he help the guy?" i asked.
one of my roommates explained that he was no longer spiderman.
"but that doesn't make sense. you don't need to be a superhero to help out a guy getting mugged. if i saw someone getting beat up by a mugger on the street, i would do something. i wouldn't just ignore him because i'm not spiderman."
to which the roommate responded, "well, that's because you're an idiot."
now i can't remember how the movie ended, or what else i did that night, or even when exactly this happened, but that less-than-2-minute conversation stuck with me. it's true, trying to help someone getting mugged could be risky, but i don't think i would be able to just walk away. this comes back to empathy-- hearing someone cry for help would make me help because i would picture myself in that person's shoes and feel his pain, fear, and desperation. i remember i was taken aback by the roommate's comment because i hadn't considered the possibility that my reaction was anything out of the ordinary. could it be? was i a minority in society for feeling empathy? for believing that i should help another person regardless of some minimal personal risk? i suppose describing it that way makes it sound heroic, but seriously, does anyone really believe that helping someone makes you a hero? isn't it kind of sad that such an insignificant thing would be considered the sign of an extraordinary individual? because an extraordinary individual is how i would loosely define a "hero," which is the same for an "idiot." it's true. but, my definition of the average joe is a human being with at least enough empathy to help a guy out when he's getting mugged in broad daylight. neither a hero nor an idiot, just... average.
so basic empathy--hero? idiot? average joe? several years have passed since that night, and still i can't say say conclusively whether that roommate's sad definition of "idiot" is a shared by more of the world. but if it is, then for the sake of the human race, and especially mugging victims everywhere, let's hope we can make "idiot" the new average.
watching the video brought back for me a moment from my NYU days. a few roommates and i were staying in to watch spiderman, not sure which one. at some point in the movie, peter parker decides to hang up his superhero mantle in order to protect his loved ones, and as a demonstration of this decision there comes a scene where parker walks away from a man getting mugged in an alleyway. i thought this was dumb. why a dumb scene in this movie would surprise me, i don't know, but it did.
"why wouldn't he help the guy?" i asked.
one of my roommates explained that he was no longer spiderman.
"but that doesn't make sense. you don't need to be a superhero to help out a guy getting mugged. if i saw someone getting beat up by a mugger on the street, i would do something. i wouldn't just ignore him because i'm not spiderman."
to which the roommate responded, "well, that's because you're an idiot."
now i can't remember how the movie ended, or what else i did that night, or even when exactly this happened, but that less-than-2-minute conversation stuck with me. it's true, trying to help someone getting mugged could be risky, but i don't think i would be able to just walk away. this comes back to empathy-- hearing someone cry for help would make me help because i would picture myself in that person's shoes and feel his pain, fear, and desperation. i remember i was taken aback by the roommate's comment because i hadn't considered the possibility that my reaction was anything out of the ordinary. could it be? was i a minority in society for feeling empathy? for believing that i should help another person regardless of some minimal personal risk? i suppose describing it that way makes it sound heroic, but seriously, does anyone really believe that helping someone makes you a hero? isn't it kind of sad that such an insignificant thing would be considered the sign of an extraordinary individual? because an extraordinary individual is how i would loosely define a "hero," which is the same for an "idiot." it's true. but, my definition of the average joe is a human being with at least enough empathy to help a guy out when he's getting mugged in broad daylight. neither a hero nor an idiot, just... average.
so basic empathy--hero? idiot? average joe? several years have passed since that night, and still i can't say say conclusively whether that roommate's sad definition of "idiot" is a shared by more of the world. but if it is, then for the sake of the human race, and especially mugging victims everywhere, let's hope we can make "idiot" the new average.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
graciasadios
i feel like with our move to mexico, i'm losing touch with life in the states. people and things are more quickly fading away into the past. honestly, this has been both good and bad. bad because it's so much harder for me to keep those i love in my present. good because the bad stuff is just gone. it's hard to hold on to hard feelings when you hear horrific stories every day. yea, so maybe you're a dumb bitch who's been awful to me, but it's not like you blew off my head, chopped up my body, and dumped the pieces in an empty lot. we're good.
the stories are paralyzing. when we first got here, i was too afraid to leave the house. federales patrol the streets, ten to a truck, armed with rifles and machine guns, conjuring up every scary image from the u.s. newspapers. the local news is a constant stream of murder reports. it's a war zone, i thought, we should be evacuated.
but over the past 3 weeks, juarez has grown on me. the stories of violence keep coming, but we haven't seen anything so far. people are out and about, picnicking in the park, going to art galleries, drinking margaritas on restaurant patios, and living their lives. this weekend i saw arte en el parque, sang along with a chumbawumba cover band at applebees (ap-leh-behs), and drank a pina colada at the movies, all in the most dangerous city in the world. there's more to juarez than drugs and murder. almost every car on the street sports an "amor por juarez" sticker, with a heart and peace fingers. well over a million people call this place home, and love it.
a friend volunteered me to take part in an art project collaborating with JR and the Inside Out project to reveal the true faces of juarez. i don't know a thing about taking pictures, but i agreed. at the very least, it'll be an opportunity to explore more of juarez, and seek out the beautiful things. later this month, i'm going to help build a roof on a church. it's in a rough part of town, but i'm sure we'll be safe. hopefully i'll get some good photos for the art project. a photographer friend suggested disposables to get a nice grainy look. grainy enough to disguise the crappiness of my photos? maybe. my plan is to point and shoot in all directions constantly. out of a billion, one has to turn out, right?
vamos a ver.
the stories are paralyzing. when we first got here, i was too afraid to leave the house. federales patrol the streets, ten to a truck, armed with rifles and machine guns, conjuring up every scary image from the u.s. newspapers. the local news is a constant stream of murder reports. it's a war zone, i thought, we should be evacuated.
but over the past 3 weeks, juarez has grown on me. the stories of violence keep coming, but we haven't seen anything so far. people are out and about, picnicking in the park, going to art galleries, drinking margaritas on restaurant patios, and living their lives. this weekend i saw arte en el parque, sang along with a chumbawumba cover band at applebees (ap-leh-behs), and drank a pina colada at the movies, all in the most dangerous city in the world. there's more to juarez than drugs and murder. almost every car on the street sports an "amor por juarez" sticker, with a heart and peace fingers. well over a million people call this place home, and love it.
a friend volunteered me to take part in an art project collaborating with JR and the Inside Out project to reveal the true faces of juarez. i don't know a thing about taking pictures, but i agreed. at the very least, it'll be an opportunity to explore more of juarez, and seek out the beautiful things. later this month, i'm going to help build a roof on a church. it's in a rough part of town, but i'm sure we'll be safe. hopefully i'll get some good photos for the art project. a photographer friend suggested disposables to get a nice grainy look. grainy enough to disguise the crappiness of my photos? maybe. my plan is to point and shoot in all directions constantly. out of a billion, one has to turn out, right?
vamos a ver.
Monday, June 13, 2011
wedding
for months, i've been collecting junk and gluing and cutting and glittering and folding and crafting for the wedding. it was going to be 100% DIY and 100% awesome, i thought. i can do this. after a while i started to wonder what the hell i was thinking. everything in the house, including us, was covered in glue, glitter, embossing powder, and paper scraps, and i was developing carpal tunnel from all the sewing. when we got to the farm friday night, and i saw all the space we had to fill with our boxes of handmade decorations, i nearly had a panic attack. we should have just hired an event planner and a decorator and a goddamn florist, i thought. this is going to be a disaster
now that it's all over, my memory must be blurring exactly how stressful and laborious the process was, because i have to say that a DIY wedding is the way to go. **caveats: i had a ton of time, superhuman bridesmaids, selfless friends, and wendy kim. if you are missing any of these components, you may want to think twice.** our wedding was small, only about 60 guests that we considered the closest of the close. so we designed and handmade every save the date and invitation. i sewed names onto each favor bag, stamped and embossed each escort card, and made a paper flower for every seat. my bridesmaid and new sister evelyn stitched together the programs one by one. i felt like the hand-madeness of it all communicated how special each guest was to us. for the reception area, we worked in the barn with the wedding party and a few incredible and selfless friends until 1AM the night before dragging tables, cutting burlap for tablecloths, filling jars and cups with chili peppers, and cursing at the half-constructed dance floor. in the morning, the bridesmaids and i stripped leaves and dethorned a bunch of flowers and figured out on the spot how to make a bouquet. for our altar, we got a bunch of tree branches from the flower district, and the boys somehow constructed an arch. saying our vows in front of something that my husband and his brothers built made the ceremony extra meaningful. the gift box was an old microscope carrier that sta found in an antique shop and then had carved with our wedding logo and names. our "DJ" was just a playlist put together by chuck and me, until some of the guests took over and put on whatever they wanted. every single person danced, even chuck's grandmother, and the party went on until 4AM.
the wedding felt like a group effort, that slowly came together, even as it was going on, through the efforts of every person present. it wasn't a party put on for us by strangers. every single detail at the wedding-- the signs, the jars of candles and chili peppers, the floral arrangements, the programs, the music, everything, was made by me, chuck, the wedding party, or a guest. we constantly had these * OH SHIT * moments-- the seating chart went missing, we forgot a guestbook, the groom lost his shoes-- but somebody would always somehow save the day. we couldn't have pulled of this crazy half-baked plan without our self-assembled team. i realize also that even if things hadn't looked as fantastic as they did, it would have still been an awesome time. our people were pretty great. so thank you to the wedding party and every single guest who helped out somehow, either by agreeing to MC at the last minute or just by showing off your dance moves. i've never had so much fun in my life, and i'm so grateful that you all were there to usher us into our happily ever after.
(oh, and hi robert.)
now that it's all over, my memory must be blurring exactly how stressful and laborious the process was, because i have to say that a DIY wedding is the way to go. **caveats: i had a ton of time, superhuman bridesmaids, selfless friends, and wendy kim. if you are missing any of these components, you may want to think twice.** our wedding was small, only about 60 guests that we considered the closest of the close. so we designed and handmade every save the date and invitation. i sewed names onto each favor bag, stamped and embossed each escort card, and made a paper flower for every seat. my bridesmaid and new sister evelyn stitched together the programs one by one. i felt like the hand-madeness of it all communicated how special each guest was to us. for the reception area, we worked in the barn with the wedding party and a few incredible and selfless friends until 1AM the night before dragging tables, cutting burlap for tablecloths, filling jars and cups with chili peppers, and cursing at the half-constructed dance floor. in the morning, the bridesmaids and i stripped leaves and dethorned a bunch of flowers and figured out on the spot how to make a bouquet. for our altar, we got a bunch of tree branches from the flower district, and the boys somehow constructed an arch. saying our vows in front of something that my husband and his brothers built made the ceremony extra meaningful. the gift box was an old microscope carrier that sta found in an antique shop and then had carved with our wedding logo and names. our "DJ" was just a playlist put together by chuck and me, until some of the guests took over and put on whatever they wanted. every single person danced, even chuck's grandmother, and the party went on until 4AM.
the wedding felt like a group effort, that slowly came together, even as it was going on, through the efforts of every person present. it wasn't a party put on for us by strangers. every single detail at the wedding-- the signs, the jars of candles and chili peppers, the floral arrangements, the programs, the music, everything, was made by me, chuck, the wedding party, or a guest. we constantly had these * OH SHIT * moments-- the seating chart went missing, we forgot a guestbook, the groom lost his shoes-- but somebody would always somehow save the day. we couldn't have pulled of this crazy half-baked plan without our self-assembled team. i realize also that even if things hadn't looked as fantastic as they did, it would have still been an awesome time. our people were pretty great. so thank you to the wedding party and every single guest who helped out somehow, either by agreeing to MC at the last minute or just by showing off your dance moves. i've never had so much fun in my life, and i'm so grateful that you all were there to usher us into our happily ever after.
(oh, and hi robert.)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
pillow talk
the boy and i often have interesting discussions in bed before going to sleep. the topics range from human morality to the cuteness of wall-e. often, because we are in bed about to go to sleep, the boy is very sleepy. i think most people find it irritating or rude when their significant others doze off during conversations, but honestly, i thoroughly encourage you to try it. it's hilarious.
usually, the boy does not admit to being sleepy. for a little while he hides it effectively. i'm tipped off when he says something like, "yes, but caterpillar go sun it," or "why clown sink lawn?" when he snaps back to consciousness after the nonsense rambling, i don't say anything about it. the conversation continues, with him intermittently drifting off and speaking nonsense, and then waking back up to continue the conversation, believing himself to be a master of sleepy deception. the doze-off moments gradually grow longer, until he is literally snoring for several minutes before waking up with no idea that the time has passed. he will then attempt to continue the conversation with a generic statement, like "right, right" or "mmhm, interesting." at this point i can easily change the topic to something else, like why sharks look so good in pink, or that strawberries contain trace amounts of jelly beans. conclusions? because of the dorsal fin, and the government should seriously stop funding the FDA. we all know it's just a scam that secretly funds the preservation of ugly people.
usually, the boy does not admit to being sleepy. for a little while he hides it effectively. i'm tipped off when he says something like, "yes, but caterpillar go sun it," or "why clown sink lawn?" when he snaps back to consciousness after the nonsense rambling, i don't say anything about it. the conversation continues, with him intermittently drifting off and speaking nonsense, and then waking back up to continue the conversation, believing himself to be a master of sleepy deception. the doze-off moments gradually grow longer, until he is literally snoring for several minutes before waking up with no idea that the time has passed. he will then attempt to continue the conversation with a generic statement, like "right, right" or "mmhm, interesting." at this point i can easily change the topic to something else, like why sharks look so good in pink, or that strawberries contain trace amounts of jelly beans. conclusions? because of the dorsal fin, and the government should seriously stop funding the FDA. we all know it's just a scam that secretly funds the preservation of ugly people.
Monday, April 11, 2011
oh so pretty
i really need to stop reading these blogs. almost every hour, i fight the urge to call off the wedding just so i can start planning everything all over again according to a new theme. favorite childhood storybook? elephants? being irish? oh eff me, i love it so much. it almost makes me wish i could just cop out and hire a wedding planner.
ha just kidding.
ha just kidding.
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