idiot

i've always been a firm believer in empathy as the key to a better world. now by empathy, i don't mean "niceness," a simplistic assumption that people often make. it's a much more complicated and beautiful thing. via one of my yoga teachers, here is an animated ted talk on "emphatic civilization," which lays it out nicely.

watching the video brought back for me a moment from my NYU days. a few roommates and i were staying in to watch spiderman, not sure which one. at some point in the movie, peter parker decides to hang up his superhero mantle in order to protect his loved ones, and as a demonstration of this decision there comes a scene where parker walks away from a man getting mugged in an alleyway. i thought this was dumb. why a dumb scene in this movie would surprise me, i don't know, but it did.

"why wouldn't he help the guy?" i asked.
one of my roommates explained that he was no longer spiderman.
"but that doesn't make sense. you don't need to be a superhero to help out a guy getting mugged. if i saw someone getting beat up by a mugger on the street, i would do something. i wouldn't just ignore him because i'm not spiderman."
to which the roommate responded, "well, that's because you're an idiot."

now i can't remember how the movie ended, or what else i did that night, or even when exactly this happened, but that less-than-2-minute conversation stuck with me. it's true, trying to help someone getting mugged could be risky, but i don't think i would be able to just walk away. this comes back to empathy-- hearing someone cry for help would make me help because i would picture myself in that person's shoes and feel his pain, fear, and desperation. i remember i was taken aback by the roommate's comment because i hadn't considered the possibility that my reaction was anything out of the ordinary. could it be? was i a minority in society for feeling empathy? for believing that i should help another person regardless of some minimal personal risk? i suppose describing it that way makes it sound heroic, but seriously, does anyone really believe that helping someone makes you a hero? isn't it kind of sad that such an insignificant thing would be considered the sign of an extraordinary individual? because an extraordinary individual is how i would loosely define a "hero," which is the same for an "idiot." it's true. but, my definition of the average joe is a human being with at least enough empathy to help a guy out when he's getting mugged in broad daylight. neither a hero nor an idiot, just... average.

so basic empathy--hero? idiot? average joe? several years have passed since that night, and still i can't say say conclusively whether that roommate's sad definition of "idiot" is a shared by more of the world. but if it is, then for the sake of the human race, and especially mugging victims everywhere, let's hope we can make "idiot" the new average.