what beats rock, paper, and scissors, all at once?

i almost knocked out my yoga teacher's teeth this morning. i had a bit to drink last night, didn't have any water, then woke up late and forgot to drink water before running to my morning class. i felt alright, with just a bit of a tension headache. then we were in warrior 3 pose, and as i began to tilt forward to transition into a vertical split, i felt woozy and lost my balance. i'm not even sure how it happened, but basically i back flipped, made a roundhouse kick motion with my legs, and very narrowly avoided kicking my teacher in the face. luckily she had a sense of humor. henceforth, i shall only answer to the name Chuck Norris.



i don't sleep. i wait.

where my lock&lock at, bitch?!

last night, as i was sifting through my pantry, i noticed that i am missing several tupperwares. this made me a great deal angrier than what would be considered normal.

i'll find you, tupperware troll... and you will pay.

omg

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

toast

after one day sans-SPF, my skin is effed. thus, i can safely say that i am definitely not a california girl anymore. i wish we all could be. i don't know when i stopped being burn-proof. i never used to wear sunblock (i am not promoting this at all, sunblock is important), and i never burned. i freckled. but at this moment, i am trying very hard to keep still and NOT scratch, and every 5 minutes slathering myself in aloe. it is so very painful. well, at least my gynecologist can stop yelling at me about being pale. why you so pale?! you no like sun?! vitamin D come from sun!! crazy woman. who the hell is tan down there? ughhh i feel like a baked ham. my skin is glowing like i'm some radioactive monster emerging from a chemical spill.



you know marisa tomei is in this movie? fact.

ow ow ow ow. oh summer.

wailin' jennys

my new love. with lyrics like these, they don't even need to sing. but they do.

When it rains it snows in this prairie town
There's a good three inches on the ground
It seems I'll be losing any peace I've found

I see your face all over this town
But I know you're nowhere to be found
You're far away, you're safe and sound

Far from this prairie town
Far from this prairie town

So leaving seems the thing to do
When I'm here I'm lost in thoughts of you
And in my dreams I'm city bound

But if you ask me to come to you
To leave these fields and these skies of blue
You know I'd be leaving my sacred ground

Leaving this prairie town
Leaving this prairie town

No one's love comes close to yours
Nothing's what it was before
My eyes are heavy and my heart is sore

Leaving this prairie town
Leaving this prairie town

When it rains it snows in this prairie town
And we just watch it fall to the ground
And wait for love to come around

So ask me in that way you do
And I'll leave these fields and I'll come to you
And watch my heart as it breaks in two

I'm leaving this prairie town
I'm leaving this prairie town

de trooth iz ote der

so apparently Sci Fi Channel has changed its name to Syfy. i remember when i first saw it on tv, one very small smidgen of my consciousness thought, "That must be a joke." The rest of my attention was focused on more important things, like tracing the shapes of the remote control buttons with my fingernail. i bring this up only because i came across an article about it on CNN:

silly news story of the day

you don't have to read it. i wouldn't blame you. summary below:

sci fi is now called syfy. stupid? consensus: yes! additional comments: "wtf," "are you retarded," and "what the hell is sci fi channel." segue : other channels have also changed their names in the past. consensus: no one noticed, or cared. concluding statement: sci fi channel begs audience, please stop calling us siffy.

it's funny that the article was posted yesterday, when the change happened about 3 or 4 months ago. or maybe more. or less. judging from the timeliness of CNN's article, no one cares. one line that i did like from the article, though, was a statement from Dave Howe (president of SciFiSyfySiffy channel): "The last thing we want to do is alienate our core audience."

he doesn't want to alienate their core audience. get it? alien? sci fi? syfy?

ho ho ho :)


[update]
REAL NEWS STORY OF THE DAY:

my boss has a MASSIVE hickey! waaaaaaaaaah!

puff puff puff

a lot of fuss being made over sarah palin. as usual. i wish people would just ignore her. i have no idea how her haters haven't figured it out yet. sarah palin is the epitome of the theory that there's "no such thing as bad publicity." she's a goddamn hot air balloon. the more heat you give her, the higher she rises.

our only hope is that a polar bear gobbles her up. and then we will make him the national mascot, parade him through the streets, bestow upon him the medal of honor, and call him snowball. and we will give him a national holiday, and it shall be called snowball day.

huzzah!

somebody loved :: weepies

Rain turns the sand into mud
Wind turns the trees into bone
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

Nights when the heat had gone out
We danced together alone
Cold turned our breath into clouds
We never said what we were dreaming of
But you turned me into somebody loved

Someday when we're old and worn
Like two softened shoes
I will wonder on how I was born
The night I first ran away from you

Now my feet turn the corner back home
Sun turns the evening to rose
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved



for some reason, this song makes me think of my dad.

day off

so two days ago, the shit hit the fan, and our servers completely crashed.

meaning:
no email
no contact databases
no internet
no connection to anything anywhere with anyone
not even the printer.

significance:
went home at 2 on tuesday
no work at all on wednesday
not much to do still since some things remain down and our tech guy went home to suffer a minor aneurysm... on thursday.

i just got back from vacation, and the classified deadline just passed, and i have to contact over 400 people about their ads from the last issue, and i have to get web ads posted, and i have to take more orders for classifieds because i haven't hit my goal yet, and, and, and....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but.

on tuesday night i made risotto with bacon-wrapped scallop skewers and garlic spinach, and watched how to lose friends and alienate people (story of my life... jk), and chilled with some cervezas. then on wednesday, woke up late, got 8 dumplings for 4 dollars + the most disgusting bubble tea i've ever experienced, watched transformers 2 (which was really entertaining. as for the people who thought it sucked... what the hell were you expecting?), and then sat in the park and watched a really drunk and possibly sleeping guy beat drumsticks against his park bench and then try to steal someone's bag, and then sit and cry for about 20 minutes. then i got 20 wings for 2 dollars.

this whole server shit has really screwed me, and trying to get this issue to the printer is going to be a pain in the ass. but i had a good week anyway. which just goes to show, days off are never bad, especially in good company. sitting in the office staring at my massive workload unable to do anything about it on the other hand... not so much.

oh well. BBQ ON SAT!!!!

i heart le boeuf




and labeouf ;)




bahaha.