public service announcement

i lost my phone battery, so last night i decided to try the alarm clock i got from ikea a year ago. the thing doesn't even run on batteries, its just a straight wind-up clock. looks like this:

if this clock looks vaguely familiar to you, either because you are considering buying it or happen to own one but haven't used it yet, DON'T. just don't. put it down and walk away. don't buy it, don't bring it home, don't wind it up. i set the thing for 6am this morning, and i woke up this morning to terrible screaming. i realized after half a second it was ME screaming like a fucking banshee, and i grabbed for the clock, fumbled it, and fell out of my bed going after it. i have never been woken up like that in my life. my entire body was tensed like i fell through a frozen pond, and now i still have a tension headache from my shoulders cramping. i've been awake for 4.5 hours now, and went to a yoga class, but the terror-induced headache is not letting up.

never doing that again. holy jesus.