gibberish

i think i may have first-degree burns on my palms. the breakfast cart guy outside my yoga studio does not carry those little coffee cup holder ring thingamajigs. he apparently finds them unnecessary. he handed me extra napkins, and sent me off. it wouldn't have been too much of a problem, i just passed the cup back and forth between my hands (slow roasting), but it turned into a big mess when i got to the subway station. i tried to get my metrocard out of my wallet while the coffee cup slowly seared my hand while an onslaught of people came pouring out of the nqr trains and through the turnstiles while receipts and cards and random pieces of paper in my overstuffed wallet drifted to the floor. i felt a little bit like my super from my old apartment in brooklyn that afternoon she nailed a piece of paper onto drywall and then ran into the middle of the street, screaming why am i so fucking stupid?! but i digress. the origami collection in my wallet has been crammed in there for so long that it usually stays put, like wallet lichens. but i stuck my birth control pills in there also because i keep forgetting them all over the place, and i guess it loosened everything up a bit. bc pills have really tested my remembering skills. the ones that i don't have, probably because i left them somewhere and forgot about them. i've moved the time i take my pill to various hours in the day over the past few months. early morning, late at night, early evening, and lunchtime. which is where we're at now. the problem is that i need cues. the other times didn't work out so well because sometimes the cues, like getting to work, eating dinner, bedtime, weren't that reliable. but i'm getting better at it, and i have high hopes for lunchtime (anytime between noon and 1pm). although i do sometimes forget to eat lunch. ah, there's the rub.

i just noticed that my trash was not taken out. and come to think of it, the lights in my office were on when i came in this morning. my powers of deduction say that the cleaning lady did not come by last night. a few weeks ago there was a big commotion in the financial district because a cleaning lady was murdered and stuffed into an air vent. maybe i should ask about our cleaning lady. then again, maybe she just forgot to come by our floor or played hooky. i wouldn't want to get her in trouble. hm. i'll give it a few days.

i also just got a mass email. i've been getting a lot of those lately, from people leaving their jobs or new people joining staffs or writers announcing new books. they all start with "please forgive the mass email." well you know what? NO. just kidding, i don't really mind it.

in case you were wondering or just expecting i would come around, i won't. this blog has no point. it's just stupid rambling. "there's something scary about stupidity made coherent," as henry says in the real thing. but don't worry, i promise i'm harmless. i won't turn you into a cleaning lady in an air vent. ooh... hm . maybe too soon.


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