boys don't cry

The winner of the 800m race at the World Championships in Berlin, Caster Semenya, is not celebrating her victory or signing endorsement contracts at the moment because she's a little tied up with people questioning her gender. The accusations seem to be coming mainly from her competitors, who all make one very reasonable and logically cogent claim: "just look at her." Not surprisingly, the media has gone crazy over this compelling story, and journalists are scouring the South African countryside to see if anyone can counter these arguments. Her mother, grandmother, father, friends, and neighbors who watched her grow up all claim that Semenya is indeed a girl. Family shamily! What do they know? Blood may be thicker than water, but it's not thicker than her accusers. They apparently also produced a birth certificate, but after that scandal involving President Obama going back in time to fabricate one in order to steal the presidency in the present from the Republicans, God, and America, I don't think we can really consider birth certificates to be solid evidence anymore. Clearly, we should take very seriously the name-calling by all the girls who lost the race to her. They spent a lot of time with her on the track (or at least a whole one minute and 55.4 seconds choking on her dust). And that axe they're grinding? Oh, that's just for later when they fell and carve up a redwood, call it a wooden shoe, and use it to prove the existence of Dutch giants.