idiot

i've always been a firm believer in empathy as the key to a better world. now by empathy, i don't mean "niceness," a simplistic assumption that people often make. it's a much more complicated and beautiful thing. via one of my yoga teachers, here is an animated ted talk on "emphatic civilization," which lays it out nicely.

watching the video brought back for me a moment from my NYU days. a few roommates and i were staying in to watch spiderman, not sure which one. at some point in the movie, peter parker decides to hang up his superhero mantle in order to protect his loved ones, and as a demonstration of this decision there comes a scene where parker walks away from a man getting mugged in an alleyway. i thought this was dumb. why a dumb scene in this movie would surprise me, i don't know, but it did.

"why wouldn't he help the guy?" i asked.
one of my roommates explained that he was no longer spiderman.
"but that doesn't make sense. you don't need to be a superhero to help out a guy getting mugged. if i saw someone getting beat up by a mugger on the street, i would do something. i wouldn't just ignore him because i'm not spiderman."
to which the roommate responded, "well, that's because you're an idiot."

now i can't remember how the movie ended, or what else i did that night, or even when exactly this happened, but that less-than-2-minute conversation stuck with me. it's true, trying to help someone getting mugged could be risky, but i don't think i would be able to just walk away. this comes back to empathy-- hearing someone cry for help would make me help because i would picture myself in that person's shoes and feel his pain, fear, and desperation. i remember i was taken aback by the roommate's comment because i hadn't considered the possibility that my reaction was anything out of the ordinary. could it be? was i a minority in society for feeling empathy? for believing that i should help another person regardless of some minimal personal risk? i suppose describing it that way makes it sound heroic, but seriously, does anyone really believe that helping someone makes you a hero? isn't it kind of sad that such an insignificant thing would be considered the sign of an extraordinary individual? because an extraordinary individual is how i would loosely define a "hero," which is the same for an "idiot." it's true. but, my definition of the average joe is a human being with at least enough empathy to help a guy out when he's getting mugged in broad daylight. neither a hero nor an idiot, just... average.

so basic empathy--hero? idiot? average joe? several years have passed since that night, and still i can't say say conclusively whether that roommate's sad definition of "idiot" is a shared by more of the world. but if it is, then for the sake of the human race, and especially mugging victims everywhere, let's hope we can make "idiot" the new average.

graciasadios

i feel like with our move to mexico, i'm losing touch with life in the states. people and things are more quickly fading away into the past. honestly, this has been both good and bad. bad because it's so much harder for me to keep those i love in my present. good because the bad stuff is just gone. it's hard to hold on to hard feelings when you hear horrific stories every day. yea, so maybe you're a dumb bitch who's been awful to me, but it's not like you blew off my head, chopped up my body, and dumped the pieces in an empty lot. we're good.
the stories are paralyzing. when we first got here, i was too afraid to leave the house. federales patrol the streets, ten to a truck, armed with rifles and machine guns, conjuring up every scary image from the u.s. newspapers. the local news is a constant stream of murder reports. it's a war zone, i thought, we should be evacuated.
but over the past 3 weeks, juarez has grown on me. the stories of violence keep coming, but we haven't seen anything so far. people are out and about, picnicking in the park, going to art galleries, drinking margaritas on restaurant patios, and living their lives. this weekend i saw arte en el parque, sang along with a chumbawumba cover band at applebees (ap-leh-behs), and drank a pina colada at the movies, all in the most dangerous city in the world. there's more to juarez than drugs and murder. almost every car on the street sports an "amor por juarez" sticker, with a heart and peace fingers. well over a million people call this place home, and love it.
a friend volunteered me to take part in an art project collaborating with JR and the Inside Out project to reveal the true faces of juarez. i don't know a thing about taking pictures, but i agreed. at the very least, it'll be an opportunity to explore more of juarez, and seek out the beautiful things. later this month, i'm going to help build a roof on a church. it's in a rough part of town, but i'm sure we'll be safe. hopefully i'll get some good photos for the art project. a photographer friend suggested disposables to get a nice grainy look. grainy enough to disguise the crappiness of my photos? maybe. my plan is to point and shoot in all directions constantly. out of a billion, one has to turn out, right?

vamos a ver.