bowie

we adopted a 2 yo beagle over the weekend from lucky dogs animal rescue. we named him bowie. he was dumped at a high-kill shelter in south carolina and scheduled to be euthanized until lucky dogs found him. they couldn't tell us for sure why he was dumped, but they think maybe he just wasn't that great at hunting. the shelter in south carolina didn't bother to get an excuse or explanation from bowie's previous owner, but from what i've observed, it's clear that this person did not just abandon bowie. bowie is scared of hands. hands that pet, hands that feed. he can hardly eat a treat when we hold it out to him, and prefers when we drop it on the floor. after it's on the floor, he'll look around nervously, then back away, sometimes leaving it there for a few minutes before going back to find it again. other strange quirks: he is terrified of certain people, terrified to the point where he freezes up, cowers, and trembles violently until they go away. and even after they pass, he'll look back for a while to make sure they're really really gone. i've tried to calm him down with treats, but he gets too panicked to eat. said people usually fit a particular bill: tall, old, bald or balding, heavy set, and almost always white. i'm not kidding. i have a racist dog.

so this goes out to the anonymous balding fat old shit who gave my dog PTSD so extreme that he can't even bring himself to eat BACON after seeing someone who just vaguely resembles you:

i hope that you live a long life, and that it is replete with unending failure, disappointment, and heartache. and when the moment comes for you to leave this earth, i hope you lie there utterly alone, fully aware that every failure, disappointment, and heartache was caused by your own incompetence, idiocy, and overall worthlessness, and there is nothing else for you to blame.

i also hope you die of botulism.