a public service announcement

if you are fat, balding, and harbor a penchant for shiny purple shirts, today's post is for you:

i has lonely

no more lurking in the dark corners of bars, hoping to cop a feel as a drunk girl stumbles past you to hurl in the bathroom. no more lonely nights spent spilling ezmac on yourself while flirting with could-be-females through avatar-based chatrooms. no more calculating how much jail time that pretty young thang might be worth if you followed her home.

Roxxxy is here for you. the fantasy female of many many men's dreams, this robot is life-size, hot, and lacks free will. this means incapable of saying no, throwing her drink in your face, or laughing at the size of your penis. and you don't even have to feel bad about being a pervert because the creator initially wanted to market a robot for children. so in a way you're kind of indirectly relating to kids, and not in a way that will get you arrested. double win. she's everything you could ever hope for-- the world's first sex robot, well-designed, technologically sophisticated, and remarkably life-like, down to the terrified and disoriented expression that a real woman like that would give you if you loomed over her sans shiny purple shirt and with your weiner out.

so do yourself, the gene pool, and women everywhere a favor. order your Roxxxy today.